After spending seven months abroad, mostly in Europe, and completely uprooting my life this year, I find myself back in my hometown of Melbourne for an extended visit.
It just so happens that this coincides with my dad’s illness—but I’ll get to that in a minute.
Apart from the fact that staying in Europe any longer would have overstayed my visa, my time back here has a few key purposes:
1. Spend time with family.
2. Reunite with my dog and bring her back from Queensland to Melbourne with the kids.
3. Plan the 2025 retreats and apply for another European visa.
4. Create some online programs and record meditations for Insight Timer.
So, how’s it all tracking?
1. ✅ Yep—though not quite how I expected.
2. ✅ Tick! The pooch is happily back in Melbourne.
3. ✅ Double tick! The Spanish Walking Camino Retreat scheduled for April sold out in just two weeks—two weeks!! So, I’ve added September dates, which are already filling, and Sardinia is locked and loaded with a stunning itinerary Davide and I recently curated.
4. ❌ Not yet. December/January is when I’ll tackle this one.
Now, back to Dad.
When I first caught up with him, he mentioned he had a medical procedure scheduled for the following Monday afternoon. Perfect, I thought. I’d be driving back from a meditation teachers’ retreat with ACMM (the training center I studied under) and could swing by to take him.
Unfortunately, the news from that appointment wasn’t great, and further procedures were scheduled. But before that could happen, Dad ended up in the hospital. Things started going downhill just days after the initial procedure, and amidst all of that, it was discovered he’d also had a heart attack.
Without diving too much into the details, I’m now staying with him to support him through this journey.
Here’s the thing: my dad and I haven’t spent this much time together since I was about four years old. Let’s just say our relationship over the years has been... complicated. But for the past 14 years, we’ve both worked—consciously—to rebuild it, and that effort has been something I’ve deeply appreciated.
So while the current circumstances aren’t ideal, I’m incredibly grateful for the chance to have this time with my father. Even if we occasionally feel like nudging each other down the staircase—lol.
This time has given me the space to see him through my own eyes and heart, rather than through the lens my mother shaped during my childhood. For much of my life, I’d given up on the idea of having this kind of bond with my dad, let alone deepening it. In all honesty, there were times I thought I might one day stand over his grave, never having truly been his daughter—not in the way you see fathers and daughters who’ve built a loving relationship.
And yet, here we are.
Through his illness and my unexpected physical presence—not just back in Australia, but specifically Melbourne—we’ve been thrown back together. Living in Queensland for the past 12 years, I didn’t plan any "proper" accommodation for myself this time around. I was happy to couch surf with the kids and wing it before heading back to Europe in 2025. And because of that, when he needed someone, I was here.
Life is full of what we might call "mistakes" or misguided choices, but we all have the capacity to move past them and embrace the present with grace and an open heart.
Not only am I incredibly grateful, but I’m also in awe of the universe and how it conspires in our favor—if we’re open enough to observe and embrace it.
Home for a week and drove over 3000km's to be reunited with our pooch 💖
Loving every minute of our road-trip together discovering a bit more of Australia.
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